Living Single

Quote

2009-07-30T13:48:00.000-04:00

My mom sent me this quote today & I think it's great: "Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."

New Topic At The Counter Project!

2009-07-28T15:38:00.000-04:00

Come check out this new question about why this awesome girl is still single & my thoughts on the matter!!

Never Gonna Learn

2009-06-09T16:48:00.003-04:00

Hey kids, looks like this dip-shit is never going to learn her lesson! Twice now I've met someone that I like & made the huge mistake of sleeping with them on the first date...generally I only sleep with guys on the first date if I don't want to see them again...and I ended up getting hoed out! I'm too good to treat myself & be treated this way so no matter how much I like someone or how horny I am I will not sleep with anyone I actually like right away, no way, now how & neither should you!

A Little Tid-Bit

2009-05-13T16:41:00.001-04:00

I had a realization today about men in general & the way I fall into their world:

Men seem to have some sort of need to be needed & that's where I lack though men love being my friend because "I'm not like most chicks" though they turn around & marry "most chicks" so tell me how that makes sense?

Just What I Wanted To Hear

2009-05-12T15:56:00.003-04:00

I get a message from a guy on a dating site & when I read his profile it says this:

Just what I want out of a man, low expectations! Probably not the best choice in words buddy, personally I like people to have at least moderate expectations from me, this basically says to me "I don't care if you show up in sweats, I don't even care if you really like me, just so long as you are nice to my face".

What A Douche!

2009-05-07T14:20:00.003-04:00

So here is a screen shot of a Q & A on Yahoo Answers that I couldn't help but participate in!! Click on the image for an easier view.

Freaking Kids

2009-02-19T14:16:00.003-05:00

Ok so those of you who know me know that I'm not a kid person, there are a few kids I like & when I have to I will tolerate children but I don't last long. My point on all of this is when the hell did everyone go from fun to parents? I'm beyond irritated by people who friend request me on sites like Facebook & MySpace & all the photos they have posted are of their children...how the hell am I supposed to know who they are? Also, every single status update involves their child...WTF? When I was a kid my parents lives did not revolve around me, sure I got what I wanted & was rarely told no, they carted me all over the place to dance & art classes & ice skating & to the movies but they had lives. My parents dumped me with a baby sitter at least once a week & when I heard my mom on the phone she wasn't talking about me, she was talking about herself or her friends & my dad...shit my dad's whole life revolved around himself & it still does. Yes, when it counted he was there, recitals, graduations, birthdays...etc but on a daily basis we all had our own lives so I just don't get why everybodys pages have to revolve around their kids! Facebook should seriously be renamed to Familybook because that's all it is, posts about taking kids to the Doctor & having no time for themselves & follow my pregnancy & all that other crap, if I really wanted to know I'd ask wouldn't I? I didn't join Facebook to find out what is going with your KIDS, we weren't friends in high school, you & I were so why not tell me how YOU are doing?!!! I understand that you have children & yay you if that's what you want but really, do you honestly think that everyone wants to hear all about your kids? These people really need to regain their identities before they are gone forever!

Get Out Of My Head!

2009-02-09T14:01:00.001-05:00

Have you ever had one of those experiences that won’t seem to leave your brain? Well, I’ve had many over the years but for the last few weeks I can think of only one & no matter what I do to attempt to distract myself it’s constantly popping up & I’m starting to go crazy. For 3 weeks, every time I close my eyes all I can see are his eyes & hear his noises just as plain as yesterday & it’s brought me near tears because I can’t get rid of it. For whatever reason he obviously doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore & that’s fine, it’s his choice but if it was that good for me how could it not have been even remotely that good for him? I haven’t had one occasion burned into my brain like this in years & at least then I got to relive the experience repeatedly and often & was then able to replace the images with new ones. I mean, usually when I first become intimate with a man this will happen to me, I close my eyes & see the action playing out but it stops when I need to focus on other things or once I’ve concluded they aren’t/I’m not interested anymore but no such luck this time. I close my eyes & hear him say something & then my mind takes off & I see him above me or next to me, I can see his eyes staring into mine, I can still smell his skin & feel him pressed against me and this is constant…all day, all night it’s all I can think of. Saturday night for instance, I’m watching a movie, I’m all sucked in and then poof I end up on this whirlwind of sexual past & end up having to rewind the movie back to where I drifted off at. Friday night I paid to go to a movie & twice I drifted off thinking about him…how in the hell could I let anyone affect me like this? I’m not this type of person who can’t stop thinking about someone at least not for more than a week! I try to think of other men to cancel out this one night & no matter who or what I try to think of he pops back in & fucks with me. We had discussed just having a sexual relationship & I was totally down with that & then after like 1.5 to 2 weeks I think he just stopped contacting me, which I didn’t get. Why would a man take the time out to contact a chick repeatedly for 2 weeks & then just drop her? Probably because he met someone else which is fine but how hard is it to be honest? I think I’m most bothered because of this…it isn’t like we slept together & he blew me off, that I could handle, he’s the one who texted me the very next morning, he’s the one who told me I was an excellent lover, and he’s the one who asked to get together again. What the fuck did I do to deserve being treated like this? More importantly, why am I going to tell you this: if he does call, I’m seeing him again. Obviously if sex is so good you can’t stop thinking about it for 3 weeks then I’m going back but if there is a next time…I’m keeping my guard up because had I known this would be the outcome I’d have done that to begin with. Just like most men I too can have detached sex for gratification purposes only. What a fucker this guy is & how dare I admit that he even had the slightest affect on me, shame on me for being such a dumb girl & shame on him for being such a poor excuse for a man.

Joe Agius Won't Shoot You

2009-02-08T11:15:00.010-05:00

Well guys, over the last few months I've been giving you all kinds of tips on dating & the shit I've been putting up with but today my friends I will tell you a story, a story of a crazy business owner who went insane on my friend Can, well for a while there they were insane on each other & that was a lot to handle! Ok so I'll give you some basic info that is needed to bring us to the reason I posted this to begin with. Joe Agius is a business owner of a prominent bar in Dearborn & in this bar is where Can & Joe met. Joe is married and doesn't seem to care much I guess because he was seeing Can & god knows who else for years, I'm sure he's probably still seeing other women but since I'm not around much anymore it's hard to know for sure but some things never change, lets just put it that way. Ok so Can & I lived together for some time so I was inadvertently stalked by Joe daily which was creepy, he would drive by & honk every single night...so annoying. Can & Joe had a very tumultuous relationship for like 5 years and one summer she hit him right in the face & broke the bone under his eye, this was funny. After the broken face incident things started to change a bit & Can started to understand that life was best without this douche bag. They both ended up taking out restraining orders on each other a few years back & that is basically what leads us here...due to the luxuries of community websites like Myspace & Facebook we can all stay in contact with people we love, like & loathe all at the same time, how awesome right? Not so much because you end up with shit like this coming through:

"Candy,Nice hipps, hows life any better? i want to own a hand gun. i promise not to shoot you with it. maybe how about taking off my hand cuffs? Joey"

So, what do you think, should she release the PPO & let Pound Cake (his nickname, if you saw him you'd get it) get a hand gun & not shoot her with it?The fact that he can't even properly spell hips makes me say no, plus the fact that I know the entire history of this situation also makes me lean toward no but part of me is thinking that she does live in another state now so maybe she should let him. I mean, I'm sure having the gun will provide entertainment for all of us in some way when he gets thrown in jail for pulling it on someone at the bar or accidentally shooting himself or some other dumb ass incident so really, this is a toss up!!

Happy V-D, Hope You Don't Get One!!

2009-02-04T13:41:00.001-05:00

Prime? Hardly!

2009-02-02T13:14:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I just wanted to bitch for a moment about how much it sucks to be a single woman in her sexual prime. Every second of every day I'm thinking about nothing but sex & I'm not joking. At work I'm at my desk working my ass off then poof, some memory or thought pops into my head & I lose all count of what I was doing & I quickly drift off to a land of nakedness & pleasure & have to remind myself that I'm working & to snap out of it. Because things at work have been so stressful lately I can usually make it about 20 mins before I think of sex but when I'm slow it's non-stop. Men always say "women can get laid anytime they want" well I'm not going to disagree with that but I'm not interested in just random sex with strangers, I want hot killer sex with certain men, the men who pop into my head during these constant fantasies of mine. These men are the ones who have made me very happy in the past, not celebrities or men that I wish I could get, but actual men who are good lovers & are actually accessible to me. The thing that is getting in my way as of late is the fact that I work...I can't stay up late during the week so I have to leave the loving for the weekends & then when I try to make it work something always gets in the way. The other thing getting in the way is that guys are dumb...I hint at hanging out & they actually think I want to hang out when really, I just want in their pants. Some of the men in my life are totally cool with me saying "stop by & screw me?" while others are put off by it but I'm getting sick of playing all of these make nice games & I'm sick of entertaining lovers only to not get the lovin in the end. Bottom line guys, just come do me & then we can have drinks & catch up after, isn't this every man's idea of a good time? What is with all of these pussy dudes? These guys act like I'm out of line asking for their services, they act like Donna Martin saving herself for Mr. right...WTF? I guess I just never expected guys to gain morals when it comes to banging chicks but as soon as that's what I'm looking for every man I come across is looking for more!! Yes I want to get married & all that shit but right now I just want to get laid...all the time so for those of you boys that I contact & ask if you want to get together this is what I'm talking about, I don't want to actually meet you in public & hang out with you & your friends!!!!!

Who could do better?

2009-02-01T03:11:00.002-05:00

Are you with someone new? Have you gotten a new haircut? Are you just really wondering if your significant other is better looking than you? Click here, and find out what everyone else thinks!! This site is addictive, I love it. I heard an interview with the guy who created it on my morning show the other day & I sent it around to all my friends, I don't think anyone posted any pics of themselves but we all definitely voted on a bunch of the photos. Enjoy, and best of luck at being hotter than your partner!!

Great Article

2009-01-30T14:56:00.002-05:00

A man's point of view on dating for a change, I quite enjoyed this article & it's totally true & I would have to say that I might be a female version of the guy who wrote it. I also dream of laying on the couch doing nothing while I'm at the gym...when I can trick myself into going that is!!

I Can't Save You!!!

2009-01-26T14:19:00.001-05:00

So I’m concerned for a friend of mine that I used to date. We were together a couple years back for a few months & his level of maturity wasn’t up to par with mine. It didn’t help that he was about 5 years younger than me nor did it help that we were in 2 completely different places in our lives either. So, over the years we’ve stayed friends, us getting along was never the issue…we had a ton in common & really, the sex was great so for the most part we were compatible. Anyway, him & his girlfriend broke up about a month ago & he told me that he was totally cool with it, she was too immature for him, he needed to move forward & had she not been moving it would have ended anyway so I assumed he was telling me the truth. See, I am kind of like a guy & generally take everything that is told to me at face value & when you say that you basically weren’t that into her anymore anyway, that’s how I take it so I assumed he was fine.

I started talking to him more & inviting him places & he came out one night & things were totally cool between us & I thought “hmmm, I wonder if maybe now that time has passed we could actually have some success”. Well, after we hung out the once everything was totally cool, we laughed & had some beers & we all had a really good time. The next day we texted a bit back & forth & all was good. Monday I email him something short & funny/dirty & instead of the usual flirty response I get what seems like an attitude filled comment. All day every time I asked a question he would either ignore it or respond all bitchy like. I opted to stop talking to him at that point & let him be, I figured that maybe he was pissed at me or someone else but I wasn’t going to deal with it. Right before the weekend I asked about is plans & he was super bitchy & I asked if he wanted to try to hang out & he didn’t respond so I took that as a no. Well, today I spoke with a mutual friend & was informed that no, he’s not ok, yes he was super upset when his girlfriend moved away and he’s not handling it well. This is when I realized everything. He was flirting with me to try to feel something else/rebound/not be alone, to help him forget about her, but for me it would have all been false, I would have been used & not even known it, here I was stupidly thinking that he actually wanted to spend time with me when in reality he just didn’t want to be alone. I feel so stupid & used right now but I also worry about him & hope that he’s able to get back to good on his own because I care about him & his well being but I can’t be part of his recovery process.

Think Before You Write....

2009-01-22T13:41:00.000-05:00

Fellas, when you are on a dating site & you message a girl repeatedly & she responds telling you that she’s not interested or seeing someone or just flat out doesn’t like you, you need to just accept that. It’s not cool to send nasty messages to these women just because they aren’t into you, I mean for real guys. There is no need to take these things so personally, no thanks is no thanks & sending a message back telling someone they are a bitch or ugly isn’t going to bother them, you only do it to make yourself feel better & the women know that. If anything, we find it very humorous & feel bad that you have such poor self-esteem. So Tigger man or whatever your name is, I could say some pretty awful things here but I’m not going to sink to your childish level but for the record, I don’t live in Southwest Detroit or even the city of Detroit for that matter & had you actually read my profile you would have known that.

Decision

2009-01-21T09:45:00.003-05:00

Ok so last night I was chilling at home thinking about all of the stupid boys who are making me crazy & then I realized that I was making myself crazy! Just because I am confused doesn't mean that I'm not in control of my life. It occurred to me that I was freaking out because I didn't think I was in control of these situations with these guys. Here's my thing, in past relationships I always was part of the guy's relationship rather than them being part of mine & I had said that I would not allow that ever again. Well, just because I'm not calling every single shot doesn't mean that I'm not in control of my life. So long as I'm content & aware & accepting of the situation then I am in control of my life, I'm not being controlled like I was thinking I was. See in the past ones I basically spent all of my free time wondering if they were going to call, I would cancel plans with friends when they wanted to see me, I did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted me to do it & that's certainly not the way things are going now so I'm not going to fret. I'm choosing to wait & see what happens & if I don't hear from Friday date guy by tomorrow I'm sending one final text message & if I get no response then I'm done. His loss, not mine, right? Why would I want to spend any of my free time with someone who would treat me that way anyway?

What the Eff?

2009-01-20T14:15:00.003-05:00

So I told you all that I had a great date this past weekend which I did & I thought he had a good time too but now I'm thinking that I got played! Now, I'm not the type of girl that expects my man to call me every day or even every other day, I do however expect them to respond to a text message. I sent a message to this guy that just said "hey, I thought I'd pop in & say hello, hope all is well & you are enjoying your journey"...he was on his way to the inauguration to work. I got no response at all & it's been over 24 hours. Now, the day after we hung out he sent me a text around 1 in the afternoon to say hi & see how I was & to ask about my STD background (which I totally respected) so I gave him the info which was good (I know you are thinking that my response is why he hasn't responded) and he thanked me & said he was getting on the road & he'd talk to me later. Well, it's 3 days later & I've heard nothing at all. Part of me is worried that he didn't make it to DC, part of me thinks that he's working & just doesn't have the time & then the biggest part of me is thinking that he's a cock face & I was dumb to assume otherwise!! I guess I just don't understand how hard it is to respond with a simple "hi, we made it" or even a "hey, I just used you" would be sufficient...don't leave a bitch hanging man, it's not cool at all.

Missing You

2009-01-19T13:48:00.005-05:00

So 2 years ago today someone I dated for about 2 minutes died & it broke my heart. Ian was a funny & very outgoing guy who had a lot to learn back when I knew him, at least as far as dating older women went. Ian was a stage actor & very good at it & he was very good at other things too but I won't bore you with those details. When Ian died we weren't speaking and hadn't spoken to each other in over a year due to his behavior & the fact that I didn't like it. I found out from a mutual friend that I had broken his heart when in all honesty he was a fun time for me. I really wish I had been more in the know back when things between him & I got tense but everything happens for a reason I guess. I can say that, a small part of me will forever feel guilty for breaking his heart, being oblivious to it, not speaking to him for a year & then attending his funeral without ever being able to say that I did in fact care about him & enjoyed his company. We were in 2 completely different stages of our lives when we met which was obvious to me but I don't think he saw it the same way. The last time I saw him he had just performed in a play & as I went to go over & hug him an old couple cut me off & all I was able to give him was a smile & wink so I hope that minuscule gesture let him know in some way that I will always be grateful for getting to know him & will always miss him. Ian was a character to say the least & the story of how we met & reconnected will forever remain one of my favorite stories that is very close to my heart.

First Date

2009-01-19T13:40:00.004-05:00

So I went out on a date with a new fella that I met on OkCupid & it turned out really well. I'm not usually the "let's go to my place" kind of girl on a first date but in my defense we had been chatting online & via text for a couple weeks & I'd already done my Google search & I felt very comfortable with him. We met for a few drinks at a place by me & then we went to my house & watched a movie & got a little "friendly". He left very very late & the next day he had to head out of town for work for about a week & I went out for a night of fun with 3 couples & my ex which was also good times but after having the new guy fresh on the brain I don't know that I gave the ex the attention he deserved. Obviously I don't owe anything to either of them (or the other guy) at the current moment but I can say that now that I'm actually dating & not just seeing one person it's a bit tricky to keep things straight!! I figure after a couple months I should be able to figure out who I want more from, who I want less from, and very possibly who I wish I'd never known!! I'll be sure to keep you posted on these guys & any others who may crop up although I don't know that I could keep more than 3 straight at once!!! I hope you all had a great weekend too :)

Friends & Lovers

2009-01-07T15:33:00.002-05:00

Do you guys have those friends or family members who just seem to be trying even harder than you are to get you hooked up with someone? I don't know about you but I find this very annoying & at times a bit intrusive. I have a friend who is constantly asking guys that she meets if they are single because she has a single girlfriend that they might like. Who does that? An overbearing mother is who. I love my friends to death but they all seem to be so hung up on the fact that I'm single that it is starting to make me wonder if they even like me! That's a joke, I know they like me but I feel like they would like me better if I had a guy...why? I know that when I hang out with a couple the guy is always bored because me & my girl are chatting it up like crazy but that shouldn't be the reason for me to find someone...I'm not dating to find your boyfriend a buddy! Anyway, I just wanted to bitch about this for a minute and assure all of my friends that in due time I'll meet someone who makes both me & them happy but until then shut the eff up & stop pushing guys on me, that isn't going to help, it's only going to make me bitter when I meet them!!!!

New Year, New Dates

2009-01-06T12:58:00.003-05:00

Ok so I know it's been like a month since I checked in with this page but I've been busy...I went to TN for the holidays & didn't blog at all while I was on vacation for 2 weeks. So let me get you guys up to speed. I met a fella online & we hung out a few times & he never made a move which was weird so after a couple weeks of no contact at all I randomly heard from him & decided to take the situation into my own hands. Everything played out just as I hoped & planned & then he started maintaining contact with me & no I'm not the smothering kind (I know what you are thinking). A text here & there is hardly smothering & that's basically what our "relationship" consists of other than the occasional hook up which works great for me & for him too I'm sure. We can both live our lives, meet up when we want to & have some fun, then go back to business as usual.

So, things are going totally cool with fun boy when I get a call from an ex with whom I still do business on occasion. He tells me that him & his woman are done & he wants to take me out on a proper date, we broke up over 2 years ago & our relationship was beyond complicated but lets just say we kept it private. Of course I said I'd totally be down because after everything I went through with this man I at least deserve a free meal, trust me!!

Then yesterday I'm chatting with another ex online & I get the feeling that he's flirting with me. Now he just got out of a relationship about a month ago and I'm not looking to be some rebound girl, it's way too late in the game for that not to mention the fact that I already played a similar type role in his life over a year ago by being the girl who opened his eyes. I will admit however, that I definitely in a way miss him so I was very happy by the change but still unsure if he was actually flirting. Today, the boy was DEFINITELY flirting with me & I flirted right back so my friends I hope to God that this may actually be my year, it's off to a flirty good start all around & I've been waiting 31 years to be lucky in love so keep your fingers crossed!!

Do You Speak Woman?

2008-12-09T13:31:00.002-05:00

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

You Don't Want Kids?

2008-12-08T14:09:00.002-05:00

Ok, here we go again with people wanting to know why it is that I don't like certain things. I don't like kids, some people think I'm awful for saying that but it's true, so sue me! I don't like your kids, I don't like their kids, I don't want my own kids and at least I'm honest about it. Would you really want to get into a relationship with someone assuming that they want children then finding out years down the road that it's not an option? I would like to know also why it is that people just assume that everyone loves kids?
I was at a wedding on Saturday & I was out on the dance floor by myself having a good time until I bumped into someone & it was a mom holding her little girl (2 or 3) and she was really cute but just because she's cute doesn't mean I want anything to do with her. So the little girl (who I don't know) starts reaching for me so I move to the other side of the floor & mom takes girl & goes & sits down. So here I am happy as a clam on the dance floor & I feel something touching my leg & I look & it's this little girl standing there with her arms up like she wanted me to pick her up. I stared at her for a minute, tapped her on the head & went back to my table. I was on the dance floor later on & it happened again so again I went back to my table. After that I decided to just dance at my table which I shouldn't have had to do because the mother should have known that if I didn't respond to the kid twice I probably wasn't going to. First of all she shouldn't have just let her tiny little girl out on to the granite dance floor by herself with a bunch of drunk people to begin with & 2nd of all when the mom said to me "she really likes you" and I just said oh & moved to the other side of the floor she should have known that I really wasn't interested. Of course, my whole family found this hysterical because they know I don't like kids but I was seriously so flustered I wanted to cry, I felt like I was being attacked. My friend Wendy hates birds & she said "that's exactly how I feel when a bird is near me, it's like panic".
I really just wish people would accept & respect the fact that I do not like children. I know plenty of people who don't like all kinds of things but I don't think they are less of a person because they don't like it. I think people have issues with women who don't like kids because they don't think we should miss out on the "miracle of child birth" well, that's not a miracle for me that's freaking insane! I have no clock ticking away inside of me, no desire to have or be around children especially when I haven't known them since birth, and if I were to ever have a kid it would be adopted & likely a little older. I'm selfish & not willing to give up my identity to be someones mother, I give mad props to my friends who are parents, especially the single ones but I don't ever want to be in that position. I want to do what I want, when I want with whomever I want & not have to worry about a sitter or the kids or anything else. People just need to relax & pay attention to themselves instead of giving me shit for my choices & opinions!

Friends Like That

2008-12-01T14:49:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had that friend who can't seem to stay out of your business? That friend who always has to be up in your shit even though you aren't up in theirs? Well I have one of those friends & she just did something that has embarrassed me so much I can't stop thinking about it. Well, here's the deal, I met a guy online & we hit it off well not really enough to be a couple but enough to "enjoy each others company" on occasion. So I tell my friend about our first night together & she turns around & requests him as a friend on MySpace...who does that?! She had asked me in the past if she could request him & I told her no yet she did it anyway! She claims she did it so that she could check out his pictures but I know she did it to attempt to make some sort of contact/bond with him. She just can't seem to allow other people to have any satisfaction that doesn't involve her especially when it comes to men. It never really occurred to me before but none of our friends wives like her & since I never really cared too much for many of our friends wives I just thought they were all bitches. I can now see how she is regarding our friends husbands as well...she's very negative & it's like if it's not for or about her she just can't stand it. I'm all about my friends & my boyfriends getting along but if she ever got all flirty with my man like she has with our friends in front of their wives I would definitely have something to say about it! Being my super close friend it really makes me beyond embarrassed that she would do this to me, I'm now mortified & look like some crazy bitch to him because of her behavior & I'm so sick of making excused for others. I'm single dammit & what I do & who I do it with has nothing to do with anyone other than us & though I may share my stories with people I assume I can trust it really bothers me that they feel that it is ok to involve themselves personally in the matter. It's uncool & unfair & I'm very unhappy!!

Why Aren't You Married?

2008-11-21T13:59:00.001-05:00

You know, I am getting so sick of people always asking me why I'm not married yet. Most of the people who ask me this question are divorced or on a 2nd or 3rd marriage & every time I want to respond with "so I don't end up like you". I'm picky, I'm not willing to settle or I would have gotten married years ago & been divorced by now myself. After my grandma passed I thought the question would stop but noooo, even my co-workers are asking "why are you single, how come you aren't married" like marriage is the best thing in the world. Yes, I would like to get married but for the right reasons, not just to have a wedding. Although, if I don't meet someone decent soon I'm gonna marry myself because I'm sick of buying friends & family presents & giving them money when I'm not getting anything in return. For instance, my cousin is having her 2nd wedding in a couple weeks so I have to give her another gift & the last gift she gave me was in 1995 when I graduated from high school & more than likely her name was just on her parents card!!

You Are A Douche Bag!

2008-11-06T13:33:00.003-05:00

Men all suck. I just don’t get it, I get men, I don’t get why they are such pussies though. Here is a bit of dating etiquette for ya. If you are seeing someone & then decide to go exclusive with someone else or just decide that you are no longer interested it is just common courtesy to inform the person you are no longer into of the fact. Don’t hide out & be a big effing douche bag & wait for them to “get the hint” because that is so rude. In the world of technology how hard is it to send an email, text, leave a myspace message? Even a “hey, I didn’t pick you” is better than nothing at all. I just find it interesting that even on dating sites I usually respond to a message & tell someone that I’m not interested because if I don’t that just makes me a huge bitch but then I actually decide to start seeing someone & then suddenly they just stop contacting me & returning phone calls. I’m sorry but I think that is the pussy way out & when you treat someone that way it will come back to bite you in the ass. Just imagine it, one night you are all lonely & looking for some ass & then you run into this girl that you used to date but blew off…guess who isn’t gonna bang you that night? That’s right, her, her friends, very possibly every woman in the bar because women love revenge. If you piss a woman off enough she will plaster your neighborhood bars with flyers telling every woman to not date you and they will probably give a very humiliating & untrue reason why, something like the attached photo in the corner. Sure it may be uncomfortable to tell someone that you don’t want to date them anymore but guess what, they will get over it so why not just tell them? If you do tell them and then end up running into them that one lonely night, they might actually put out because you at least had the balls to tell the truth. So, C, I think you are a major douche bag & I will be sure to tell every woman I know that you are. Be sure to keep your eyes open for the flyer featuring your face & informing everyone of your “issue” at all of your local pubs. Cheers brother!

Dating Tip #43

2008-11-06T10:30:00.000-05:00

Don’t take a new potential mate out to a party with your friends on a first date, and don’t accompany them to one either, it’s way too much to handle trying to get to know them when there are other people around that already know one of you.

Dating Tip #42

2008-11-05T10:30:00.001-05:00

Do not get drunk on a first date, it makes you look like a fool & it’s not attractive at all.

Dating Tip #41

2008-11-05T10:30:00.000-05:00

I don’t recommend adding your new “friend” as a friend on MySpace, Facebook, or any other site of the type until you know them a little better, I mean, do you really want this new prospect to see you hammered passed out on the floor at some party? No, you don’t, not until they know you are a responsible person first.

Dating Tip #40

2008-11-04T10:30:00.000-05:00

Men, just because we are independent women doesn’t mean that we don’t appreciate chivalry, opening doors, paying the check, pulling out the chair…these things are VERY appreciated, especially in the beginning.

Dating Tip #39

2008-11-03T14:09:00.000-05:00

Ladies, just because it is the “job” of the man to pay while courting you it doesn’t mean that he always has to pay for the duration of your relationship, sooner or later you will probably have to start chipping in once & a while, men don’t owe you anything.

A First For Me!

2008-10-31T16:11:00.003-04:00

So I have this attractive guy at work & we've never really had any non-work conversations until this week. He has approached me twice with general conversations & today the convo was cut short due to a work task I was late for. This convo was the "what you up to" convo which never happens! He informed me that his son is out of town so he's up to nothing & I had to go so I told him I was doing about the same and that was that. Well, I decided that I wanted to know what was up so I did the unthinkable for me, I sent him an email (he left the office when I wasn't looking) and said "I don't know what time you are working till, you may have even already left, but if you want to grab happy hour let me know". This was about 20 minutes ago & I haven't heard anything but my theory is that if he is already home he's not coming back toward the office but I do feel extremely proud of myself for even sending it!! At least now the thought is in his head....right? God I hope this doesn't blow up in my face!

Dating Tip #38

2008-10-31T10:34:00.000-04:00

Men, if a girl asks you for a thousand dollars to help with her bills, or worse, cash to "enhance" her appearance, run for your freaking life!

Dating Tip #37

2008-10-30T10:34:00.000-04:00

Ladies, don’t expect the world from anyone. Sure, it would be super nice to meet a great guy with a great personality who is hot & really wealthy but the chances of that actually happening are pretty damn slim so writing a guy off because he didn’t want to give you a thousand dollars to help with your bills is pretty crappy, and so is the fact that you asked.

Dating Tip #36

2008-10-29T10:34:00.001-04:00

If someone asks you out & you think that hey they don’t seem half bad, go…at the very least you will get a free meal or some free drinks. Whenever my friends ask “do you think I should go with him” I always say “hey, a girls’ gotta eat” and you never know, he may end up being exactly what you needed/wanted all along.

Why Now?

2008-10-28T13:50:00.000-04:00

Last night I was driving home from picking up my car at the mechanic & having dinner with Doug when I got a phone call from an out of state number, so I didn’t answer it. Previously in the day I got a few calls from an out of state number & they were trying to fax my cell phone so I assumed this was the same thing. I started wondering if some company had a misprint on their website & now all these people would be faxing me but I quickly discovered that I was wrong. The mystery caller left a message & I listened to it & it was some noise & then a hang up so I figured it was a wrong number. The caller calls again & I again ignore the call because I assume that they dialed the wrong number again but again, they leave a message. I get stopped at a red light & decide to check the message…big mistake!

I suddenly hear the voice of bad relationship past and honestly come very close to vomiting, right in my car. My heart dove into my stomach like it was trying to hide and I actually started breathing erratically & for fear of hyperventilating I talked myself down. I went ahead & listened to the whole message which went something like “hey, how’s it going, I hadn’t talked to you in a while so I thought I’d see how you had been and what’s new and all, call me when you can either at this number or mine” the second the message was over I deleted it. This ex is the only ex I have who makes me feel this way, I have not spoken to him in a year and a half & have not seen him in 2 years, actually, almost exactly 2 years and I guess I kind of hoped I’d never hear from or see him ever again. Now, I’m on excellent terms with all of my living exes except for 2 & 1 has little to do with our relationship he’s just a really bad friend & I don’t have room for that. This guy though, made my life a living hell for so long, he treated me like crap, he made me feel bad about myself, he used me, and so on but obviously there were things that were good enough for me to stay until one day I just woke up. Suddenly, I realized that none of it was his fault it was all mine, my fault for allowing the behavior to continue so I ended it, for real ended it & that was that. I wasn’t as upset as I thought I would be about the split either, I actually felt much lighter & free & I loved it! Not long after that my life totally started turning around, I got a great job & started dating someone else which was good for a short time, then we opted for friendship instead. About 6 months after the split I hardly even thought of that bastard, I deleted him from my cell phone & my email address book, as far as any stranger would be concerned I don’t even know the douche bag & then poof, here he comes to ruin my day yet again! Do assholes like this have some sort of freaking radar or something? I mean, I’m very happy these days personally & professionally and then bam, here comes this shit! He was probably just chilling at home watching TV & then ding “I think Kel is happy, let’s ruin her night”.

I immediately called Wendy all in a frazzle & she talked me down. I have decided that I am going to call him, tell him I’m happy, wish him the best & leave it at that. I don’t want bad blood but I don’t want him thinking he can just roll back up in my life & treat me the way he did before. I am a different person than I was then but I know how he his & I don’t trust him, I don’t believe anything that comes out of his mouth but I know how he works. He’s one of these dudes that is like a chick if you will, batting his eyelashes acting all innocent & sweet & buttering you up to stab you when you aren’t expecting it then makes you think it was all your fault. Well, I’m older & wiser & refuse to fall for some bullshit antics like these. I wasn’t going to call at all but I realize that if I don’t he’s just going to call again in 6 months & make me feel like this all over again so today, I will return that effing call (thanks to another friend who still has his number) & make nice & then move on with my life leaving this situation a closed book that I never want to read again.

Dating Tip #35

2008-10-28T10:34:00.001-04:00

Internet dating is pretty common, there is nothing wrong with meeting people online so long as you choose the proper avenues for doing so. Basically, if you want to meet someone online use a dating site either a free one or one that you pay for, not a chat room, it’s a little safer that way.

Dating Tip #34

2008-10-27T13:31:00.001-04:00

Do not discuss how much money you make or how much stuff you have at any point within the first 5 dates. Telling some woman about your sweet car & 2^nd home on the water just makes you seem desperate & that you are using your things to lure in potential mates.

Don't Date This Guy!!

2008-10-24T16:44:00.001-04:00

I was on a dating site today & happened to stumble upon a profile of someone I dated a decade ago for seriously a second. He seems a little bitter, check out his "about me", enjoy!

So the douche bags that run this website removed 7 of my pictures because in one of them I was wearing a Halloween mask? So the other 6 that were perfect head shots weren't good enough? With that being said lets tell the truth about the "real" purpose of this website...

First, lets talk about the quality of women on here...I break it down to this...Some of the girls are fat(thank God for the headshot rule) The fat girls wouldn't get me to jerk off and throw it at them...and I think I speak for most dudes....so of course they have to crowd this site to get a date, get laid, or (lmao) find a boyfriend...Then there are a lot of single moms...young/old doesn't matter you are divorced, never married with baggage....Not interested...I don't care what you look like....When you are naked I don't want to see your wrecked body, or have to close my eyes cause I was bored and pretend you are Jessica Alba with D tatties....Next just plain ugly...Obviously you still haven't mastered photo shop and if you have...Guess what? You are still ugly...Hence your reason for being here....Then there is the small (like a ****ing grain of sand) group of girls that are goodlooking...Most of them never write you back anyways so what is the point? I realize I am far from a super model, but when I say hi...you can take 30 ****ing seconds to write back....I file them under stuck up ****es...No body would talk to them in real life cause they are ****es so to them hopefully they can kick around some dumbass from this site...Not me....Then the fake profiles...The girl in the bikini or smokin hot chick that has no reason to be on here in the first place...Obviously some dude who is bored, or some fat chick messing with guys to get revenge on them dissing her...Listen honey I didn't force the Oreos down your throat so quit wasting sever space...I dunno what is funnier the fake profile or the dumb **** that responds to it....

Now lets get to the real reason we (meaning men and women are on here) to get laid...Really? A first date were we can go on a walk? Have dinner? Talk? lmao? You are just gonna end up ass over ankles at some dudes place naked so skip the part were we spend money and get to "know you." Ladies do you really think you are gonna find a future husband or boyfriend on here? How naive? So don't put your are tired of games, looking for prince charming, blah blah blah...Cause you are not gonna find it on here....See the problem is no body is ever willing to talk about why they are really here...Men and women alike try a mask it with the hangout, or editing to no hook ups or sex...But really that is all they want...Fatties, single moms, ugly chicks, and even your occasional **** all need to get some sometime...So the birth of this comical website....

Stop before you get your panties in a bunch and decide to write me with a hateful message...I realize I am an ***hole...I don't need some chick with a mooseknuckle and b-i-t-c-h t-i-t-s to message me and tell me that..Feel free to send your opinions I guess..

Dating Tip #33

2008-10-24T12:52:00.000-04:00

When going out for drinks it is acceptable to do round purchasing, but not within the first month that you are dating. In that first month the man/courter should pay for all of your drinks when you are going out to the bar/club. Once you are a couple then it’s totally fine for the woman/courtee to pay for her drinks, his drinks, everyone’s drinks if she so chooses.

Dating Tip #32

2008-10-23T09:00:00.000-04:00

Ladies, don’t ever pay for the man, unless planned ahead. Like if you guys are out to dinner & he says “I don’t’ have enough cash then you pay for your meal & leave, he can do the dishes to pay for his”. Obviously, if you say to him “I’m taking you out tonight” then yes, you need to pay.

Great Way to Get a Date!!

2008-10-22T12:53:00.004-04:00

Not really. So I got a hit from a guy on OkCupid yesterday and he was kind of cute but was in the photo with 2 young girls. So I check out his profile only to find that he is the parent of these girls and my profile says "please don't contact me if you have children" so I'm guessing this poor guy can't read. Anyway, I decided to read his profile anyway...he may be a multi millionaire with a nanny so the children won't be my responsibility ever (as if)...so here is what he had to say about himself, this is the first thing people read on a profile mind you.

Now don't all of you jump on the site & start looking for this guy, all the ladies are gonna be trying to get a piece of him! This certainly explains why it is that he is only looking for "short term dating".

Dating Tip #31

2008-10-22T12:50:00.001-04:00

Fellas/the one doing the courting, if your date wants to go to somewhere that you can’t afford you need to let them know in advance that you can’t cover it & if they really want to go then they will probably offer to pay for themselves.

Dating Tip #30

2008-10-16T13:58:00.000-04:00

Ladies/the one being courted, don’t offer up cash until you are comfortable doing so, make him court you & earn your fidelity. There have been times on first dates that I’ve felt bad because the bill was so high, but I still did not offer any money, because I know I’m worth it.

Read This Book

2008-10-14T14:06:00.002-04:00

Ladies, I read He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tucillo a long time ago & I highly recommend it to every single one of you! Yes, I think this book is the basis for the upcoming movie (starring everyone) but since the book isn't exactly a work of fiction or a story I'm not sure how the two will compare. Anyway, buy the book, read the book, and use it as a guide to men & reality!! Trust me, once you read this you will be able to sleep better at night, rather than laying there wondering why he didn't call or why he didn't want to meet your friends.

Dating Tip #29

2008-10-14T14:05:00.000-04:00

This tip is just for straight couples because I’m not really sure how the gay community organizes who pays & what not. When you are courting a woman it is your responsibility to pay for each date until you have decided not to see other people, or she offers up some cash (whichever comes first).

Another First Date

2008-10-13T11:47:00.004-04:00

So last night I went out for beers with a cute guy that I met on OkCupid. Apparently he looks like a young Donnie Osmond as the bartender Bridgette was all about him and said she was tempted to call her girlfriends to come up there & take a look at him because they all had their walls lined with posters of him when they were young. While I found this funny he seemed a little uncomfortable & the funny thing is, his profile on the site makes reference to the resemblance so after she was done fawning we got a giggle out of it. We sat & talked & had a few beers for a couple hours and I really enjoyed myself. We have plenty in common and plenty not in common but enough in common that the convo was able to flow for the duration and then a bit in the parking lot. I thought he was really cute, had a nice (and very white) smile, was well dressed, and smelled good which is a huge plus for me (I'm very big on smells). I thought he said that he really liked kids & they were a lot of fun but then he started showing me these scratches he got while playing with one then we talked about cats so I'm thinking maybe he said kittens!! I do think that he does want kids according to his profile but I can't remember & we didn't get that far in our discussion. I enjoyed the fact that he had great body language while I probably seemed kind of standoffish but that's just me. He touched me a lot but not in a creepy way so I read that he was interested by said behavior. He is more outdoors than I am, as I've said before my idea of roughing it is a 2 star hotel, and he's still into going out on weeknights while I just can't hang anymore, but as you are all aware, I like having separate interests as well as common ones so these things didn't bother me too much. I honestly would like to see him again and unlike my last date, after 3 beers I did want to sleep with him which means that he deserves to see me again. Lucky bastard!

Dating Tip #28

2008-10-13T11:46:00.002-04:00

Early on in a relationship the other person may invite you over for dinner, which they are cooking, if you don’t really know them all that well yet I would advise asking what they plan to make. I am a very picky eater & I find that asking ahead of time, although awkward, can be much better than showing up & not eating what they made because you don’t like it.

Dating Tip #27

2008-10-10T16:04:00.000-04:00

If you are meeting for dinner & they suggest a Mexican restaurant & you don’t like Mexican, politely let them know that you would rather go somewhere else.

Dating Tip #26

2008-10-03T08:28:00.001-04:00

If you ask to pick them up and they suggest meeting, don’t take it personal just go with it.

Some Chick

2008-10-01T12:43:00.001-04:00

Dating Tip #25

2008-10-01T12:35:00.000-04:00

If you are the one taking someone out make sure you have enough money on you to pay for it.

Dating Tip #24

2008-09-26T11:42:00.001-04:00

If you are going to a movie & they suggest something that you definitely do not want to see let them know, otherwise you are signing up for an evening of boredom, which no doubt will not lead to a next date.

Tip #23

2008-09-18T09:55:00.001-04:00

If your date suggests going bowling or to play putt-putt or something of the sort make sure you tell them if you don’t like the activity, otherwise you may not have fun & ultimately ruin your chances with this person. Just because your date/man/husband/lover/girlfriend is into something does not mean you need to be!!

Dating Tip #22

2008-09-17T10:17:00.001-04:00

I am so sorry it has taken so long for me to post a new tip, I've been very busy lately...unfortunately not from dating :(

If they want dessert & you are full, tell them to go ahead & order & if they offer you a bite it is polite to taste it unless you really don’t care for it or honestly couldn’t eat another bite.

Dating Tip #21

2008-09-10T14:09:00.000-04:00

Just because I told you to order & eat on a date doesn’t mean that you should make a pig of yourself. If they take you out for BBQ & you want the ribs, dig in but just make sure you wipe your face often & definitely wash your hands after the meal.

You Are You!

2008-09-09T13:34:00.003-04:00

Ok ladies, I've been on the dating scene forever & in the past I was guilty of the following but I eventually learned better.
So we all know how exciting the "honeymoon phase" of a new relationship is and how you just can't get enough of this person and the mere thought of being away from them makes you want to die but ladies, you cannot succumb to this nagging desire to spend every waking moment with this dude. I say that you are allowed no more than 3 weeks of disappearance in a relationship and then you need to get back to reality. If you spend more than that amount of time all locked up with your new man you are going to start losing relationships that you have been building for years. Your bff that has been around since high school isn't going to take kindly to you ignoring her for some guy, and eventually will just walk away from you. Spending all of your time with your man is only going to cause your friends to hate him which will again cause them to leave you, all alone with your man, who I can guarantee hasn't given his friends up for you. I'm not saying that you can't talk to him all of the time but when the weekend comes I find it best to spend one day with the man & one with the friends then everyone is happy. I will also say that when you are out with your friends they don't want to hear you talk about your man all night. You are you, you still have your own identity & your own life, interests, views...etc. I recommend treating a new relationship like you have been in it for years, not weeks. This will be greatly appreciated by your friends, his friends, and best of all the relationship which will be much stronger & stand a better chance when there is space involved rahter than smothering each other & the fire between you. Question my suggestions? Watch the Lauren/Heidi/Spencer saga on teh Hills & if you want to live friendless like Heidi then ignore all I've said, but if you would rather not be talked about by your "friends" behind your back then taek my suggestions to heart. Your man should compliment you, not run your life!!

Dating Tip #20

2008-09-09T13:33:00.000-04:00

If you are going out to eat with someone make sure you order & eat, don’t get a salad (unless you really want one) because you don’t want to look like a pig, most men want to date women who can eat & appreciate food.

Dating Tip #19

2008-09-05T08:53:00.000-04:00

Do not have drinks before your date. Sure, you may want to have one drink before (to take the edge off) but going out for happy hour with your friends then meeting your date is a recipe for disaster.

How to Dump Someone & Tip #18

2008-09-02T16:15:00.002-04:00

So, lucky for all of us wikiHow posted this today, so if you are trying to figure out how to dump someone, check it out!!

Dating Tip #18
While you want to have your date on your turf you don’t want to take them to your local “cheers” where everyone knows your name, nobody wants to be bombarded like that on a first or even a second date & then they may also question how much time you spend there. You are better off going to a large chain type establishment that you frequent so you feel comfortable but since they always have a ton of staff & customers in there you are less likely for the whole bar to scream your name upon your arrival.

Dating Tip #17

2008-08-28T08:21:00.001-04:00

If you are not having a good time you should be honest about it and end the evening but many of us aren’t comfortable telling someone to their face that we don’t like them so either ride it out or if need be excuse yourself to the bathroom & have a friend call you (repeatedly so you have to answer) and tell you that something happened with them & their significant other & they are at your house & need you ASAP.

Dating Tip #16

2008-08-26T08:46:00.000-04:00

If you use online means for meeting people make sure your pictures are up to date, nobody wants to go out on a date with someone & not even recognize them because their photo is 5 years old.

Dating Tip #15

2008-08-22T14:04:00.000-04:00

Be honest, if they ask if you do drugs & you do use drugs (even a little) then you should tell them that you do, you want them to want to date you, not the you they think you are.

Dating Tip #14

2008-08-21T13:52:00.001-04:00

Do not spend your whole first date talking about your ex, actually it’s better to not even mention them unless asked.

And it continues....

2008-08-21T13:48:00.001-04:00

funny thing is, i think i'm more attracted to you now. i think it is very sweet and considerate of you to write me and be honest with me. i think you showed alot of class by that. heres's a gift just for being a sweetheart. p.s. you really never know what you might be missing out on unless you give it a try

I can't wait to see if more will come, this is like a new TV show!!

Follow Up: Why Don't You Like Me?

2008-08-20T21:13:00.004-04:00

Ha, so I get this response...even here, his spelling is so awful I can barely stand reading the message! I did not edit anything, this is the message exactly other than my adding the bold text to the obvious terrible spelling & what not.

"just want to let you know that i am well educated and am capable of writting with proper spelling and punctation. the reason i dont on my profile is, i would think people would not have to worry about the proper punctation and spelling because this is only a dating site nonthing professional."

Nothing professional? Let me tell you something pal, you didn't get the job!

Dating Tip #13

2008-08-20T15:13:00.001-04:00

Do not spend your whole first date talking about yourself, people don't generally take interest in others who don't take interest in them.

Why Don't You Like Me?

2008-08-20T13:38:00.005-04:00

So I had a gentleman that I turned down leave me the following message(s) & I wasn’t even going to dignify his behavior with a response but felt it would be in the best interest of girls that he will contact in the future to let him know exactly why I wasn’t interested. Below you will find his 2 messages and then my reply.

"no offense, but the reason i am not your type is because i dont have the tall, athletic, pretty boy look with the moosed up highlited spikey hair. i have done studies in one of my pyc classes, and that seems to be the only type. not too many women go for the nice boy harry potter look."

"well just curious to how i'm not your type. you dont empahasize anything about looks on your profile, maybe you should if thats whats important. i think you might be missing out on a fun good guy, but i respect that you wroteme back anyway. most women think there to good to write guys like me back and then wonder why they're single and cant find a good guy. it mainly because every women out there is competeting for the same guy. i do think you're beautiful. does looks matter anyway? you're 30, in another 20 to 30 years looks are going to be gone anyway. maybe even in 10"

Hello J,
Let me start by saying that you seem very bitter in your profile which I don’t find attractive but the main reasons that you aren’t my type is the fact that your interests don’t match mine, and your poor use of grammar and spelling. It really was not your appearance. I am not attracted to the “Gotti boy” image like you seem to think.
I would also like to give you a tip that sending a woman a message making assumptions as to why she isn’t interested only illustrates your lack of self-confidence. You immediately assume that she doesn’t like the way you look which is evidence that you are uncomfortable with your own appearance and that is not attractive at all. It seems as though you are trying to place blame on others for why you are not having luck in love, but you might want to look inside yourself to figure that out and maybe things will perk up. Best of luck to you in your search for true love!!

K

Post a Photo

2008-08-19T16:04:00.001-04:00

So I created a profile today for the FOX dating site for the local folks. I ran my first search & while I got over 20 matches, they weren’t actually matches. None of the guys I got matched with were attractive, at least not as far as I’m concerned…I’m not really into blondes or mullets! So here is my quam with dating sites & the people that are on them. Do you ever get that “hit” from someone & you go to check out their profile & their photo is taken from like 20 feet away, or it’s a group photo & they don’t have themselves labeled, or the worst is no photo at all. See, I used to feel bad when I’d ask for a photo from someone & then I’d get the pic and know why they didn’t post one, but do these people really think that they will get to know someone well enough that they will fall in love with their personality first? No, they won’t, because most people won’t have a 2nd conversation with someone without a photo. Now I don’t feel bad for just saying “sorry, but I just don’t find you attractive” and closing out our communication. I mean if they would have had the photo posted to begin with we could have skipped me being honest because I wouldn’t have contacted them in the first place. So I guess my suggestion to people is…if you don’t mind being told that you are unattractive then go ahead & omit the photo from your profile. If you would rather people not contact you because they don’t find you attractive from the get go, then post a damn photo! I also can’t stand the photos from like 5 years ago, are you kidding? I know you have more recent photos & the reason you aren’t posting them is probably because you don’t look as good now as you did then, but once you meet someone they are gonna figure it out so save yourself the embarrassment & just take a current solo photo from within 5 feet of you & post it! Thanks!

Dating Tip #12

2008-08-19T08:48:00.000-04:00

If you have some major deal breakers you may want to find out if this person participates in any of them no later than the 3rd date, especially if you like them otherwise you may really get into them only to find out 3 months later that he has 6 kids & they all live at home!

Strangest Pickup Line to Date

2008-08-15T13:59:00.003-04:00

So I was checking my messages on my current dating site and I got a real gem from one of the guys. The subject of the mail was Nose & then the message said "is your nose yours or did you have it done? it's nice"
This is not a joke!!

Online Dating

2008-08-15T13:57:00.003-04:00

So I’m going to give you guys some insight on dating websites. I am a member of many of them but usually only actively use one at a time. I just finished up with a 3 month subscription to eHarmony, last year I did a 3 month stint on Yahoo personals, and currently I’m trying a free website called Plenty Of Fish. Now, I can’t say that my testimonials of these sites are going to be true for you as well but I’d like to give you my opinion of how they did/didn’t work for me. Well, obviously none of them have worked for me because I’m still single but some proved to be better because I met more people and went on more dates than other sites.

Yahoo Personals: This site proved true for all kinds of first dates, very few second dates, but I did meet some cool people. These guys may not have been actual dating material for me but were still my kind of people and I do remain in touch with a couple of these guys. I did meet one that seemed great but didn’t represent so well in person, it seemed as though I was hanging out with my ex. I was instantly turned off by that fact, because if I wanted to date my ex then he wouldn’t be my ex now would he?

Match.com: I’ve never subscribed I do have a profile on there but don’t actually use the site, ever. I think the fact that Dr. Phil has involvement with it makes me very hesitant to actually sign up.

EHarmony: This site was a huge waste of money for me. They “matched” me up with all kinds of people & guess what? None of them were actually matches. All these guys had kids, wanted kids, were fat, lived like 50 miles away…just nothing I wanted. I actually ended up talking to 2 and meeting 1. The first guy I was excited about until I found out he was a cop & then he told me that he screwed up his page & actually did want kids. Bye bye. The second one, he was nice & decent looking, but I didn’t feel any sexual chemistry & if I don’t feel anything after 3 beers then I don’t think it will work, plus he lied on his profile & said he was a non-smoker & he was a smoker. So after 3 months & like $80 I got nowhere so I deleted my account. I was very specific that I didn’t like or want kids or guys with kids and 90% of the guys I got had kids! I was specific that I wanted someone close to home (like 10 miles) and everyone lived in like Saginaw, plus I don’t like the fact that you can’t search for people…you get matched & that’s it & I’m sorry but I like browsing profiles & picking the people that I find attractive, not the people you SAY I’m compatible with.

Chemistry: Same as Match but without the Dr. Phil issue…I just can’t afford this site either.

Plentyoffish.com: This site is free, so I figure I have nothing to lose, I’ll let you know how it goes but I’ve already been chatting with a couple people & it’s only been like 3 days. The nice thing about this site is you can search for booty calls, husbands, friends, pen pals…whatever you want it’s probably on there.

Okcupid: This site is my favorite, it's kind of like Myspace for dating! They have quizzes & questions that you can answer to help gauge compatibility with others, it's actually fun & I think the people are in general younger & just more of a technology based community if you will, they are the Facebook/Myspace types if that helps. Anyway, I've met some awesome people on here & I suggest it to people all the time.

Dating Tip #11

2008-08-15T13:56:00.000-04:00

If you want to see this person again, don’t sleep with them on the first date.

Now Hiring!!

2008-08-14T15:33:00.003-04:00

In the art of Tucker Max I am deciding to post a dating application on my site, now since I gear this site toward women I don’t expect it to be filled out and returned but I just may keep a few on my person and when I get hit on at a bar I’ll have the drunk freaks fill it out & see if they are worth my time, mainly this is for laughs although the questions & what not that are on here are real and represent what I’m looking for in a man. If by chance you are a man & interested in filling this out, by all means please do so & don’t forget to include a pic!

Dating Tip #10

2008-08-14T15:27:00.001-04:00

Make sure you have a fall back topic to discuss in case there is a major conversation lull, if a celeb recently died or your basketball team just won the playoffs or something else that just about everyone knows of, this could help lead to more conversation. Example: "So, how about all this Kwame business?"

Real Detroit Weekly

2008-08-13T15:26:00.002-04:00

For all of you locals, this weeks issue of Real Detroit is the singles issue! I haven't picked up my copy yet but I'm sure it's a good one, since every issue is a good one!!

Family Holiday Etiquette

2008-08-13T13:40:00.001-04:00

Family holidays can be very trying, but you should know your family and how they do things so it shouldn’t be that difficult to figure out. Even if you are told that you don’t need to, bring your own alcohol. You should always ask ahead of time what food item you can bring (even if told nothing), there will always be something that is missing & you picking it up on your way will make the host’s job so much easier. As far as bringing dates to family holidays, you should only do so if you are serious about the relationship. Your family isn’t going to want to meet a different guy at every holiday. If you are a guest at someone else’s family holiday for the first time, you should bring the host a bottle of wine, or flowers, or some other token of appreciation.

Dating Tip #8

2008-08-13T13:36:00.001-04:00

A first date is basically an interview, you are interviewing this person to be your companion so you should have some ideas for things you want to know about them other than where they work.

Dating Tip #8

2008-08-12T15:50:00.001-04:00

Especially on a first date you should take it easy on the makeup, don’t attempt the perfect smoky eye for drinks with a stranger; they want to see what you actually look like.

Dating Tip #7

2008-08-11T14:13:00.000-04:00

For a first date you should wear something more casual/cute such as jeans & a cute top.

What Every Single Woman Should Have

2008-08-11T14:00:00.005-04:00

A list of what every single woman needs…I don’t just mean women who are single, but all women…granted those who have or live with a man may not use some of these as often as an actual single girl but sooner or later they might find that they come in handy.

The first thing you need is the self confidence to know that you don’t need a man for help and that you can take care of things on your own if needed.
A tool box/kit
A sewing box/kit
A plunger
Computer
Fake name/alias
Baseball bat
Fire extinguisher
Booty call
Tailor
Nail Tech
Waxer
Aestitician
Hair Stylist
Attorney
OB/GYN
Duct Tape
Sexy undergarments (at least 1 set)
Guy movies (at least 2) on DVD
Dry Cleaner
Spa/Massage Therapist
Sugar Daddy, or at least some guy who loves to take you out & won’t try to sleep with you
At least 1 gay guy
A close female friend you can tell anything to
Passport
Frequent Flyer Card for some airline
Insurance Agent
Means for transportation
Mechanic that won't rip you off
Savings and checking account
401K/403B…etc.
Hot first date outfit for each season
Classic cocktail/little black dress & shoes/accessories to go with
Classic black tie gown & shoes/accessories to go with
Voter’s registration
A staple cocktail that you know you can get anywhere
A meal that you can make very well
Condoms

I'm sure there are many more things that every woman should have, these are just the staples but if you will notice the word husband never comes up on this list. Just because you are single doesn't mean that you are worthless or less of a woman, embrace your single status & enjoy living by your own rules and timelines!

More General Party Etiquette

2008-08-08T14:02:00.001-04:00

Is it ok to bring your significant other to _____ if they weren’t invited? This depends on the situation, if your best friend calls & invites you over to play cards they are well aware that you have a significant other so if they don’t mention them, then don’t bring them. If someone you have not seen in some time invites you over for a cocktail party/mixer that they are having then yes, you can bring them. Basically, if you are being invited to a group outing such as a mixer, bbq, picnic, pool party, holiday open house then you are welcome to bring a guest but if you are invited for something specific then no, you should not bring your significant other or anyone else for that matter. Of course, if you really are unsure just ask if you can bring someone & save yourself the embarrassment of showing up for ladies night with your husband.

Dating Tip #6

2008-08-08T13:59:00.001-04:00

If you are going out with someone that you met online or in a bar (someone none of your friends know) then be sure to give one of your friends all of the info you have on your date (screen name, name, cell #, where & when you are meeting etc.), just in case something happens to you.

Dating Tip #5

2008-08-07T14:02:00.000-04:00

Your best option for a first date is drinks, or coffee, don’t commit to dinner until you know you can make it through a few drinks with the person.

First Date Blunders

2008-08-07T13:59:00.001-04:00

So as far as first dates go like I said I’m a bit of a pro and let me just tell you some horror stories that have happened to me and to friends of mine on first dates.

Bill arrives at table
My date: “I have a 20”
Me: “ummm, ok, I guess I could leave tip”

He called twice after and I never returned the calls, it’s really not cool to invite someone out to lunch (that’s right, he couldn’t afford lunch) and then when the bill arrives ask them to throw in for it. He was lucky I even had cash on me, I normally don’t carry any but had some because I had to stop at the farm market that doesn’t take charge.

Middle of night after drunken 1 night stand
Girl: I need to take you home
Guy: Do you even know my name girl?
Girl: Todd?
Guy: No!

Ladies, if you end up in a one night stand & you are really drunk you might want to note his name in your cell or write it on your arm or something because you never know when he could come back to haunt you. Girl talked to a friend of hers who had gone on a date with some guy & he told her the story of this girl who slept with him & didn’t even know his name…guess what? That’s right, Girl’s friend was on a date with Not Todd!

After the first stop on a first date me & my date “Reds” had to get our keys from the valet so we could move on as they were closing but we were only going next door. We walk outside & tell valet the situation & here’s what transpired

Valet: No problem guys, what car you driving?
Me: The Tempo
Reds: I’ve got the Mercedes
I was beyond embarrassed but we ended up having a good time anyway, and for some reason I knew that I should have taken my rommie’s Yukon, but oh well, it was too late by that time.

General Manners & Etiquette for the 21st Century

2008-08-06T15:45:00.000-04:00

In the time of female CEO’s, male nurses, and the possibility of a black president I think it’s high time to update our rules of manners/etiquette. Sure, you can go ahead and read some book published in the fifties which may suggest that you make sure to have dinner & a cocktail on the table when your husband gets home each night but the reality is, he stays home & you work so what now? Well, I will post occasional etiquette tips for real people right now.

Here is the first one:

What do you take to a housewarming party?
It’s pretty standard to bring a candle, liquor, wine, vase…nothing extravagant or over $20. It is NOT ok to register for housewarming gifts, as much as you may want to, it’s inappropriate and if you are invited to a party where the new homeowner has registered then you should still bring your stock gift as suggested above, do not refer to the registry or they will never learn that they were wrong for registering in the first place.

Dating Tip #4

2008-08-06T13:46:00.001-04:00

Turn your cell phone off or to vibrate, it is not polite to answer your phone in front of your date, if you must use it excuse yourself to the bathroom.

Dating Tip #3

2008-08-05T10:30:00.000-04:00

Have the first date on your own turf, if the person ends up being a total tool at least you feel comfortable & can find other people to talk to if needed.

My Situation

2008-08-05T09:31:00.001-04:00

I am 30 years old and for the most part happily single although it’s getting more and more annoying this year for some reason. I had a dating partner last year for a couple months, I say dating partner because we never actually came out & said that we were a couple. He never stated that he didn’t want to see other people & neither did I but for a while there near the end of our relationship it did seem as though we were a couple. There were a million reasons to end the relationship, which is why we did. He had issues being part of a couple and I didn’t, there was a 5 year age difference which doesn’t sound like much but the difference between 24 & 29 is a big one. The biggest problem was the personal issues that he had going on in his life; they seemed to get in the way of him being himself in front of others for some reason. When we were alone we always had a blast but when we would get around my friends he always acted so strange. I don’t know if I threatened him in some way or what but obviously being with someone you can’t go out with is a problem so we decided to remain friends & cancel the relationship thing. I tend to find that as I date people I’m not finding what I do want in a mate but rather what I don’t. I could give you a laundry list of things that I don’t want out of a relationship but some of the basics are needy, mama’s boy, alcoholic, unemployed, already married, depressed. So other than that relationship I’ve been technically single for almost 8 years now therefore I know quite a bit about dating & even more about first dates. Unfortunately I don’t have much insight on second dates or any past that point since I usually don’t get beyond the first one. I’ll tell you the major trick to dating is being able to figure out during the first date if you could be this person’s significant other and if you don’t see that happening there really is no point in having a second date now is there?

Dating Tip #2

2008-08-04T08:19:00.001-04:00

Always try to meet for your first date, do not have them pick you up, you have no idea what this person is like & you may not want them knowing where you live.

Dating Tip #1

2008-08-01T13:58:00.001-04:00

Even though the man should always pay on the first date, you should have cash on you just in case he ends up being cheap & can’t afford the date, or if he’s a total loser & you need to climb out the window & grab a cab.

Welcome Ladies!

2008-08-01T13:30:00.002-04:00

Hello, I wanted to start this blog for all of the women out there who are independent, single and dating. Some of you may recently be divorced some may have never been married but I'm hoping that the insight and tips and tricks that I plan to share will be beneficial to you either way. I'm 30, single, living in the Detroit area, happy, and actively dating. I've dated all different types of men and have had some great dates, some awful dates, and some just plain blah dates. I always pay very close attention to detail when it comes to dating so I'm hoping that the things I share will click with you or help you in some way.

I will be posting tips on this site for dating, personal growth, and probably other random items that I find interesting & think you might too.

Now, I've dated men that I met in bars, at work, online, by set up...obviously none of these options have worked but I will do some comparison of dating sites in the future here so that hopefully it will help you choose one if that is the avenue you are choosing to take. Thanks for stopping by & don't be a stranger!!

Dating Application

2008-07-30T15:36:00.000-04:00